Chapter 19: When the days are cold

After the birthday party, an atmosphere of cheerful joy  lingered  around the Rossini household.  They finally had their share of much-needed fun and lightheartedness.

It didn’t last long, though.

It turned out, Eira’s symptoms from last night didn’t go away. She woke up with a terrible fever and felt dizzy and nauseous all day.

“You have to see the doctor,” Melia insisted and Camilla almost yelled at her mom for being so stubborn. But Eira was having none of it. She smiled and said it was just a flu.

Later that afternoon, right after she woke up from a long nap, Eira got up from her bed and walked out of her house. She just stood there for a while, on the pavement in front of the lot, possibly near the spot she stood on the first time she arrived here all those years ago.

Back then, she had nothing but a piece of land and a cheap secondhand cell phone. But things change, right?

Eira looked over her shoulder. Her once empty lot was full of things.

“Beds, toilets, chairs, even windows!”

It wasn’t the prettiest house out there, of course. Neither it was big or luxurious. But those were the last things Eira worried about.

Because when she looked at that house, she saw nothing but love. She smelled Melia’s cooking. She heard Devi’s guitar and Damon’s jokes. She remembered Camilla’s chatter and Castor’s wild clicking on a computer mouse, Evander’s paintings and Eudora’s toys hidden under her bed.

The memories filled her heart with pride and happiness. So many wonderful things she achieved. And so much love she witnessed.

All of the sudden she thought of her first date with Adrian…

Oh, Adrian…

With him on her  mind, she turned around and looked forward, with her lips forming a resigned smile.

“I’ve been awaiting you.”

She felt how strenght and energy slowly abandoned her old body and she gracefully lay down  on the ground.

She looked elegant and almost regal in her calmness, in her willingness to go. Her face was peaceful and there was still a soft smile on her lips when a dark figure reaped her soul.

“I’m on my way, my love.”

And with that simple sentence, Eira Rossini drew her last breath.

The rest of the family was not as ready for Eira’s death as she was. Melia cried for hours. She felt alone and isolated. Not only she lost her mother, but also her dearest friends and the most caring advisor. She had no one to lean on.

Why is the world so bleak suddenly?

But no one seemed to suffer as much as young Evander. He’s always been momma’s darling boy.

To make the matters worse, his birthday was approaching. Melia tried her best to make him feel loved and happy. She baked his favourite  chocolate cake with hazelnut cream and invited his brothers. But nobody was in a mood to celebrate. The party just reminded them of how incomplete the family seemed withou Eira and Adrian around.

They all tried for Evander, but it didn’t help. Adult Evander was just as sensitive as his teenage self and he sensed their sadness like it was his own.

Is it just me or melancholy really suits him?

Melia was really worried about him. He never really needed a lot of company, but now he stopped talking completely. He also didn’t fish anymore and his easel stood forgotten in the garden. And so she decided to talk to him.

She found him on his usual spot on the bench next to parents’ graves.

“Are you alright, Ev?”

E: “I’m not, Mel. Of course, I’m not. I can’t believe it, I just can’t! I’ve never lived in a world without mama! Everything’s so…cold without her. And I’m so worried.”

M: “Don’t be. I know it’s hard, but think about Mom. She’s fine now. Wherever she is, it’s a place of no pain. No tears. No heartbreak. Maybe she even met Dad again. You don’t need to worry about her.”

Evander listened to her words carefully and slowly nodded when she finished. He realized that grief prevented him from thinking clearly.

“That is true, Mel, but still…”

E: “I’m just so sorry that…that she won’t be here to celebrate my first job with me. Or to meet my girlfriend one day? I really wanted her…you know, to be there.”

E: “Everything… everything just seems so pointless or something. So blunt. Like it is less of an accomplishment when I can’t share it with her. Like it’s not worth it.”

“Oh, Ev. Don’t say that. I know it’s hard, I wish she was here, too. But you still have us – me and Damon and Millie and everyone else. We are all here for you.”

M: “And you should always remember what she lived for. I’m sure you’ll find the strenght to go on in the answer.”

Evander looked at her thoughfully, his eyes still full of tears. Then he just stood up and walked away, but he seemed more absent-minded than distressed and Melia calmed down.

‘He’ll be fine,’ she said to herself with relief, ‘he just needs some time.’

She had no idea what kind of process she started in Evander’s head. But she found out a couple of days later, when Evander decided to share his plans with Camilla.

“Listen, Millie, I have something to tell you.”

“Go ahead!” Millie encouraged him enthusiastically. She had a soft spot in her heart for her vulnerable, gentle baby brother.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about this place. And I’ve come to a decision that I can’t live here anymore.”

“Everything around here reminds me of Mom and Dad. It’s just so painful for me. Everytime I remember they’re not here anymore, it’s like…it’s like a thick layer of frost is covering my heart. It’s paralysing.”

Camilla blinked and stared at him a couple of minutes.

C: “Wait! Are you telling me you’re leaving? But why?”

E: “It’s something Mel told me. She said I should always remember what mom lived for. And I think I know – she lived for us. So maybe it’s time for us to live for her, do you understand?”

“We are her legacy, Millie! We have to live our lives to continue hers!”

C: “It’s true, Ev! Beautiful idea! Are you sure you’re not a Genius?”

E: “Nah, I’m just a Romantic!”

They smiled at each other and it was Evander’s first smile since Eira’s death.

C: “But where will you go? You can’t live with Castor or Damon, they have their own families and…”

E: “No, nothing like that. I already rented a house. It’s in Windenburg.”

C: “Oh. I mean – wow! You impress me, little brother! Anyway, good luck with that! You have my blessing – as long as you promise I can visit you as often as I want!”

A few days later, the phone calls were made and the bags were packed. Evander said his goodbyes to his sisters and headed towards his future.

Dory sat still on her bed and stared at Evander’s corner of the room.

It felt empty without him.

She sighed and got up. It was hard. She didn’t want to go to school and follow her daily routine like nothing happened. She just wanted to hid under the blankets and cry infinitely.

“Why is everyone leaving me, Blarffy?”