Chapter 15: Eira’s Beginnings – part 2

“My world turned much colder after mama’s death. My father was not a family type – he was too busy hunting and drinking wine with his noble friends and travelling to far away lands. He didn’t have time for uninteresting little girl.

And so I found myself in the world of nannies and governesses, who were teaching me how to be a proper lady.

It was a lonely  life, to be honest. There were no kids my age except for my brothers and those were…not the nicest kids around.”

“They stole my toys and broke my violin and when I tried to complain about it to my father, he just yelled for awhile and then asked me not to bother him with the ‘childlish nonsense’ in the future.

I had a friend, though. I met him in the kitchens  – I used to go there and ask staff for something to eat when I didn’t like dinner. They always had some milk and cereal or cookies for me.”

“And once – we had roasted liver with anchovy sauce for dinner that day and it looked  disgusting,  I couldn’t eat one bite – so later I went on my usual trip to the kitchens.

And I found Fabian. He was there, waiting for his mother, Eloise, who worked as a kitchen maid in our house.”

“I adored that boy. He had the greatest smile and the most beautiful brown eyes in the world. And we had the biggest childhood crush on each other – we even had this game where we pretended to be a bride and a groom, you know.”

“Of course,  my father  didn’t want me to be around ‘ordinary people’. I knew he would never approved of my friendship with Fabian, a son of a kitchen maid, and so it had to remain secret. 

It meant that we could usually meet once a week on Friday night and play quietly in the kitchen. Garden was available only when my father and brothers were travelling. But it was a price I was willing to pay.

And with Fabian by my side, I somehow survived my childhood without arousing attention of my father, which was great.

But then I became a young lady.”

“On my sixteenth birthday, my father threw a huge garden party for all the  snobbish noble families we knew. I would prefer a movie night with Fabian but I attended, because I was obedient and well-educated and I didn’t want to provoke him.

As I expected, all the kids I met there were lofty spoiled brats and I found it really hard to talk to them. But I was the birthday girl, so I had to meet all our guests and entertain them properly.

One of the boys, Nicolas, challenged me to play chess with him. I gladly accepted – talking to one dummy was easier than talking to a bunch of them.”

‘And who knows, maybe he’s smarter than the rest of them. He plays chess, after all,’ I though to myself.

“Well, my hopes were crashed very soon. He was terrible at chess. And he was even more terrible in conversating – he just bragged about his father’s wealth and bored me with stories about his cars and yachts.

Meh…”

‘Let’s see… ‘

‘Queen to D4 and…’

‘Chackmate!’ 

“I was glad the game was over and my time with that unpleasant kid, too.

But he wasn’t done with me.”

‘What? What was that? You can’t just win like that!’

‘Girls are not supposed to be good at chess!’

‘And what are we supposed to be good at? Complimenting you and looking pretty?’

‘Well, yeah. Something like that.’

‘So let’s play again and this time, you’ll act like lady, what do you say?’

‘I say you’re arrogant, repulsive little bastard and I’ll speak to you no more.’

And I left. Unfortunately, my father saw me talking to him and he thought it was a good thing!

‘I wanted to introduce you to someone special but I noticed you two already met! Nicolas is a remarkable young men, isn’t he?’

‘Remarkable? I would use a different word…’

‘A good one, I hope. Because I think we’re going to see more of him in the future. I already invited him and his family for tea this Friday. I feel in my bones that you two are going to be very dear friends.’

‘What? What are you even talking about, father?’

‘I’ll never be friends with that annoying piece of idiotic plum! Never!’

“And I left. My father yelled at me to watch my language and called me spoiled, ungrateful wench, but he couldn’t stop me. I wouldn’t stay there with him and his awful friends even if he’d threatened me to imprison me for life.

I asked Eloise if she could bring me something to eat and she brought me my birthday cake. She said my father never ordered them to bring it since I left his stupid party.

So I celebrated my birthday alone in my room.”

‘Happy birthday to me.’

“Next day, Fabian came to check on me.

‘I’ve heard someone had a wonderful birthday party yesterday.’

‘Oh, really? It’s unfortunate then that I had to leave so early…‘

‘Will you tell me what happened?’

‘What do you think? My father wanted me to play with other kids but I refused because those kids were stupid and mean. Usual scenario.’

‘I thought so! But listen. Maybe I could make it up for you somehow. There’s a big dance party happening tonight. I could sneak us in, if you’re interested.’

‘Are you kidding me? That would be amazing!’

‘Okay, then. I’ll pick you up around 10 p.m. Just please wear something…normal.’

‘Sure, I’ll figure something out. I should go now, it’s almost dinner time.’

“That dinner was awful, of course. My father kept insisting on my friendship with Nicolas. He  encouraged me to write to him and to ask him to visit us and to be my nicest self around him while I silently wished to die.”

 

“My brothers sided with him and they kept telling me how I’ll never find a better match than Nicolas for me because he is noble and rich.”

“Normally, I would lost my nerve but I was too excited about my plans to pay attention to them. I just kept wondering how it happened that my mama, my beautiful, smart, kind mama gave birth to those two plumheads.”

“After dinner, I tried my best to dress myself like a normal teenager. I googled some tutorials and ruined two blouses to create a cool top, but it was worth it – I’ve never looked so good.”

“And other people thought so, too. Fabian told me I looked very unprincessy – in a good way. And I noticed grown up men  were checking me out while I was dancing.”

“I don’t blame them, though. I was acting provocatively on purpose – I wanted their attention, you know. I’ve never felt more confident.”

“One of them even asked me to go somewhere more private with him. I freaked out at first, but he meant the bar.”

“When he asked about my age, I lied. I’m sure he knew I was lying, but he didn’t care and he told me to order whatever drink I liked.

I ordered the one with the highest percentage of alcohol.”

“As expected, I was getting very drunk very quickly. That handsome stranger was getting drunk, too, and he was flirting with me more obviously after every sip.

Fabian noticed it and he didn’t quite approve.”

“He managed to stole me away from that stranger and persuaded me to follow him on the balcony, where I would be safe from admiring glances of strange men.”

‘Listen, Eira, maybe you should be more careful around those men.’

‘Really? Why?’

‘Well, because…you know what men are like…and look at you! You look…’

“I must admit, I was touched by his concern. And I thought it was cute that he was too shy to give me a compliment. Not that I needed it. I knew I looked stunning.”

‘Oh, so you’re afraid they wouldn’t be able to resist my sexy curves.’

‘Whoa, Eira…well, I can only speak for myself. And I certainly wouldn’t if you tried it on me.’

‘But that’s the thing, dummy. I am trying it on you.’

‘Are you?’

‘Well, if that’s  the case…’

“And so we did what drunk teenagers do – we made out. It was quite fun. Until…”

‘Eira?!’

‘What…what are you doing?! Are you out of your freaking MIND?!?! We’re leaving! NOW!!’

‘And YOU, you little piece of plum!’

‘You’re never coming anywhere near my daughter again. Do you hear ME?!?! NEVER!!’

 

Chapter 14: Eira’s Beginnings

Melia felt awfully guilty for what she did. To hurt someone’s feelings so bad – only a truly horrible person could do that.

She was too ashamed to talk about it with her family. What would Mom think of her if she knew? She would be so dissapointed  that her daughter turned out to be such a dishonest egoistical dummy, easily blinded by  money.

She didn’t really know what to do with her misery. And so she just did, what she knew best.

She cooked.

And cleaned.

And worked in her garden.

It was exhausting and boring life, but at least she didn’t have to think about her horrible life choices. According to her, she didn’t deserve anything better anyway.

Maybe she would go on like that forever.

But Eira noticed that her daughter was neglecting herself. She stopped using makeup, she only left the house to go to work and she didn’t even use the shower very often.

But the most alarming thing was that she refused to celebrate her birthday and she rather aged up alone in her room.

“Am I middle-aged already?”

So she stopped her on day before work and she made her talk.

“You’re not leaving here until you tell me what’s going on.”

M: “Uhm? Nothing? Literally nothing, Mom.”

M: “My life is as boring as ever right now.”

E: “Yes. And why is that? Because you broke up with the rich guy? C’mon, Melia.”

M: “No, Mom. That’s not it…”

But Eira didn’t let her finish the sentence and she continued with confident tone: “I know you think I was being irresponsible when I had so many kids with so little money. But believe me, I had my reasons. And I think that maybe it’s time to tell you.”

————————————————————-

“As you probably know, I come from a far away place.”

“My family was not only rich – we were actual royalty. My father was a prince, a second born prince, which meant he was not the heir to the throne, but his blood was unquestionably royal.

Before I was born, my parents moved from the capital to much humbler country mansion, allegedly similar to the manor my mother grew up in. “

“She was also highborn, my mama. But she was different than the rest of them. My father – and pretty much everyone from the family – was strict and reserved. Polite, of course, well-educated and with wonderful manners. But somehow… distant. And cold.”

  “I’ve never seen much of him as a child. 

But my mother, she was nothing like that. She was kind and caring. She had a gentle heart. Not to mention that she was a true beauty. Not only on the outside – she had this glow about her, the beauty from within.”

“My birth was a big event – everyone was excited to have a princess finally, after my two older brothers.

Calvin and Marcus took after my father – appearance-wise and personality-wise, too. And just like him, I don’t remember them being around much.”

“But what I do remember is my mama. She was my favourite person in the world and my best friend. I remember how she always stayed with me in my room until it was really late and we’d just chat for hours in our pyjamas.”

“She was telling me silly stories about her teenage years, about gowns and balls and about all the handsome gentlemen she danced with and she always laughed even more than I did. I remember the sound of her laughter to this day.”

“From time to time, we stayed up so late that I fell asleep. Sometimes Mom stayed for awhile and sang to me. Sometimes she fell asleep, too, and she slept with me in my bed until the morning came.”

“I also remember her library. She loved it there. It was her room. All the other rooms in that house belonged to my father but that one, that one was hers. She could spent hours there and I was usually with her.

We had music lessons every day – she was teaching me how to hold my violin and how to play scales. Or she just played the piano and sang while I listened.”

“And when I didn’t feel like playing, mama would read fairytales and fantasy stories to me. Some books were so adored by both of us, that she read them to me multiple times, over and over again until I could recite them by heart.”

“But most of the time, I was just sitting on the floor next to her, playing with my toys while she painted. Those were my favourite moments.”

“And hers, too, I guess. She was spending every spare minute of her day with me. She was keen to help me with my homework…

...or to just play with the dolls.”

“She was a hero to me. I remember that I used to say ‘I want to become my Mom, when I grow up.’ when I was a kid. She made my childhood truly magical and I loved my princess life. And I loved her, more than anything.”

“She died when I was seven.”

“I was too young to properly understand what happened. But I remember the terror I felt when I realized my mama was not coming back.”

“And with her gone, life was never the same again. Ever.”

 

Chapter 13: Little Talks

Life was slowly going back to normal. Sure, there were days when grief took over and nothing could be said or done.

But more often than not, the kids were able to get through the day without outbursts of tears. They knew life would never be the same again, but they were coming to terms with the new reality  – the one without Adrian.

Eira was also doing better. She left her room and started to play the violin.

She was determined to compose a song. It was her way of grieving and she refused to give it up. For her, that song was the last act of love and she had to write it. For Adrian.

Evander went back to painting. His pieces were tragically sad and melancholic – but he’s always painted like that so it was probably a good sign.

Dory was dealing with sadness very successfully. Her goofy nature didn’t work well with moping. Also, she found herself a friend who was also a goofball and with him, it was easy to look at the bright side.

And that friend was Alfred.

“It’s not that I don’t miss him, because I do. But I think Dad wouldn’t like to see us like this. He’d want us to live…as cheerfully as he used to live.”

And Melia – she had so much cleaning and cooking to do that she had no time to cry. She buried herself in chores and work so she didn’t have to think about her father a lot.

She even got a promotion. With new position came new responsibility. Her boss wanted her to learn some tricks with glasses and bottles, so she started to work on her mixology skills right away.

And she soon find out it was quite fun.

“So let’s trow some ice in!”

“Yisss! Nailed it!”

Devi noticed her enthusiasm.

“Wow, you’re good at it! I’m glad you have a new passion.”

“Well… it’s for my work, so I wouldn’t call it a passion. But if you have to do something you can also have fun with it, right?”

Devi smiled, but there was more she wanted to share.

“From my point of view, you could have more fun with your boyfriend.”

 

“When was the last time you speak to Alexander, Mel?”

“Uhm, yesterday? Or the day before? It’s none of your bussiness anyway.”

But when Devi finished her breakfast, Melia gave it a thought and she realized her sister was right. She was not avoiding Alexander, but she was not exactly seeking his company either. That poor man was spending his days alone, wandering around the house quietly, trying not to stand in anyone’s way.

“Bon appétit to me.”

The worst part of it was that Melia knew the reason behind her behavior. And she knew she needed to talk to Alexander about it sooner or later.

She opted for sooner and asked him out.

Alexander was delighted. He wanted to talk to her, too, and he took her to the Museum of Municipal Muses. The same museum where they went on their first date.

He had something big on his mind for quite a while.

They had a lovely time together, chatting in the museum’s garden. Mel always liked their conversations. She almost forgot why they were there.

Almost.

M: “This is nice. I missed our chats, Alex.”

A: “Yeah, it’s funny how we used to talk for hours when we met and now, when we are actually living together, we only exchange a few words a day.”

M: “Oh, that… That’s why I asked you out tonight. There’s something I need to tell you.”

A: “Really? That’s wonderful because I wanted to tell you something, too!”

M: “Oh, okay. You go first.”

Melia felt truly uncomfortable so she was grateful for every spare second before the big talk. She wasn’t really looking forward to what was she planning to do. And maybe he would bring it up himself and she’d save herself the troubles.

“Let’s go somewhere more private,” he suggested and so they’ve got across the garden and sat on a lone bench with no people around.

They  just talked for another hour and watched the sunset. Melia sensed that it was equally hard for him to get to the point like it was for her.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Mel.”

But when the sun disappeared behind the horizon, Alexander took all his courage into his hands and with a very serious tone in his voice, he asked her to stand up.

“Whoa! What is so serious that I can’t sit during it? Are we going to sing the national anthem?”

“Heh, almost! Melia Rossini…”

M: “What? WHAT?! Alexander, what are you doing?!”

“Seriously? Is this what a relationship looks like according to you? Two strangers living together?”

“Is this what you want our marriage to be?”

Mel couldn’t believe what was happening. She felt like crying. Alexander looked like crying. It was all so wrong.

“Just…stand up, please,” she added with a much softer voice.

M: “Look, I’m sorry. Very, very sorry.”

“But you must have noticed that things aren’t really working out between us.”

“And it’s all my fault, everything. I should have been honest with you. And with me.”

“I’m afraid I only see you as a friend. A best friend, you know. And I love you very dearly, but not in the romantic way.”

“Mel, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I was being very reckless with your feelings. I hoped that I loved you enough. But I didn’t and it wasn’t fair, to be with you when you felt more than I did.”

“It was a mistake. A terrible mistake. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed to be your girlfriend and I shouldn’t have asked you to move in.”

“It’s just…you were my best friend and I was afraid of losing you.”

A: “I see. Well, I believe this means it’s over between us.”

M: “I’m afraid it does. I hope you’ll forgive me one day.”

Chapter 12: Weeping Eyes

Adrian’s death was not sudden or unexpected. He lived long and he lived well. He’s got to spend his life with the woman of his dreams. He’s got to invest his time into things he loved best – sport, jokes and his family. He’s got to see his children grow up, marry and pursue their own dreams. He’s got to meet his grandchildren.

He died with a triumphant smile on his face, surrounded by those who were dear to him.

Adrian was ready to leave.

His family, however, was not ready for the overwhelming grief that came with his death. Because nothing, not even the sparkling age bar, can prepare a sim for such a heartbreak.

“I suddenly feel so empty inside…”

Even the simplest, everyday tasks seemed impossible to achieve. The food was stale, the air was heavy and the things that used to be joyous were just reminding them of their pain.

“How can I even try to go on, when you’re gone, Dad?”

Days were long. Endless. Unbearable. Everything looked small and irrelevant in comparison with the sadness they were drowning in.

“What’s the point of all this?”

They sought solace in each other’s presence but the weeping eyes of their loved ones only offered the reflections of their own sorrow.

“I wish I could help you, Ev, but I can’t even help myself.”

They were lost. Lost and helpless.

“This can’t be.”

Melia was especially devastated. She was missing her Dad like everyone else, but she was also hurting from seeing her family so blue. She was the heir, after all. It was her responsibility to keep their spirits up – to encourage them and to support them and to show them how to carry on.

But she had no strenght to do so. And she felt terrible because of it.

“I’m so sorry, Devi, so very sorry.”

Melia barely spoke to anyone in the house. She didn’t want to annoy them with her worries – they were already having a hard time without hearing about her problems.

“But maybe it would help if I talked to someone relatively unaffected by all this,” she thought to herself while doing the dishes and she decided to call Alexander.

He showed up before she was done with the kitchen. One look at her worn out face was enough for him to realize that something was going on.

“Oh, my, Mel! I was so worried – you haven’t answer the phone for days! What happened?”

“It’s my Dad. He’s… gone.”

Alexander already lost his parents so he knew whatever he’d say couldn’t ease the pain. Melia and her family needed time and support, not polite words.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know. I still  can’t believe he’s gone. He’s been around my entire life, you know? I can’t imagine a world without him.”

“And it makes me wonder – if I feel this miserable, what kind of grief is my mom undergoing?”

“And if I, a grown up woman, miss my dad so much – how must my younger siblings feel? Dory is just a kid.”

She sighed, fighting off the tears: “I don’t know. I just feel like I should do something for them, help them through hard times. But I don’t know what to do. I’m having troubles just trying to make the household works, you see – it cost me so much energy to make sure if they are eating well and doing their homeworks that I barely can do anything else.”

“You’re doing great, Mel. But you don’t have to do it all by yourself. I’m here to help, just tell me what you need.”

“Well, maybe you could stay with us for awhile? Help me with the garden and with all the broken appliances.”

Alexander was a bit sceptical – he wasn’t close with anyone in the family. And to interfere with their grieving process was the last thing he wanted to do. But Mel looked really exhausted and lonely.

“Okay, then. I’m here for you.”

And so Alexander moved in.

Meanwhile, Camilla was also having a hard time. Not even mischief could distract her.

One simply knows things are bad when Camilla can’t troll teh forums.

Luckily, she had a friend. Alfred noticed she wasn’t her usual reckless self in school, so he came to check on her one day after work, just to make sure she’s alright.

“I’m not alright, not at all. My dad’s gone. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be alright again.”

“I know it’s hard, Millie. But believe me or not, you are the blessed one.”

Camilla looked at him, startled, but he continued before she could reason with him.

“Listen to me.  You know I’ve never met my father – he left before I was born – and I’m telling you. Your sorrow is a blessing. It speaks eloquently about the unspeakable love your father had for you.”

“I guess that’s true. But it makes me even sadder – to think of what I’ve lost in him.”

With those words she left, sobbing. Poor Alfred was just standing there, wondering if he should follow her or leave and talk to her on another day.

And when he finally decided for the latter, he unexpectedly ran into Dory.

“I think you said it very well…the thing about our sorrow being a blessing. We were adopted, Millie and I, and, you know…we could easily end up without that love you were talking about.”

“Millie just need some time to understand that.”

“Besides,” Dory continued, trying to prevent her voice from cracking,”you know what they say: grief is a price we pay for love. And we’ll have to pay a lot for all the love Dad gave us.”

Purple Day: Last Love Song

A Song for You.
Written by Eira Rossini.

(not really, so listen to the actual song here >>)

When I am down

and oh, my soul, so weary.

When troubles come

and my heart burdened be.

Then I am still and wait here in the silence

until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up

so I can stand on mountains.

You raise me up

to walk on stormy seas.

I am strong when I am on your shoulders.

You raise me up to more than I can be.
——————————————————————————————————-

————————————————————————————————————-

You raise me up

so I can stand on mountains.

You raise me up

to walk on stormy seas.

I am strong when I am on your shoulders.

You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up

so I can stand on mountains.

You raise me up

to walk on stormy seas.

I am strong when I am on your shoulders.

You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up

to more than I can be…

Dearest Adrian.

It was the greatest of honors to share my life with you.  You’re the reason of all the happiness I ever felt. I would never make it without you. I would never love without you. I wouldn’t even be ME withou you. We belong together.
And in my heart, you’ll live forever.

Faithfully yours,
Eira