“My world turned much colder after mama’s death. My father was not a family type – he was too busy hunting and drinking wine with his noble friends and travelling to far away lands. He didn’t have time for uninteresting little girl.
And so I found myself in the world of nannies and governesses, who were teaching me how to be a proper lady.
It was a lonely life, to be honest. There were no kids my age except for my brothers and those were…not the nicest kids around.”
“They stole my toys and broke my violin and when I tried to complain about it to my father, he just yelled for awhile and then asked me not to bother him with the ‘childlish nonsense’ in the future.
I had a friend, though. I met him in the kitchens – I used to go there and ask staff for something to eat when I didn’t like dinner. They always had some milk and cereal or cookies for me.”
“And once – we had roasted liver with anchovy sauce for dinner that day and it looked disgusting, I couldn’t eat one bite – so later I went on my usual trip to the kitchens.
And I found Fabian. He was there, waiting for his mother, Eloise, who worked as a kitchen maid in our house.”
“I adored that boy. He had the greatest smile and the most beautiful brown eyes in the world. And we had the biggest childhood crush on each other – we even had this game where we pretended to be a bride and a groom, you know.”
“Of course, my father didn’t want me to be around ‘ordinary people’. I knew he would never approved of my friendship with Fabian, a son of a kitchen maid, and so it had to remain secret.
It meant that we could usually meet once a week on Friday night and play quietly in the kitchen. Garden was available only when my father and brothers were travelling. But it was a price I was willing to pay.
And with Fabian by my side, I somehow survived my childhood without arousing attention of my father, which was great.
But then I became a young lady.”
“On my sixteenth birthday, my father threw a huge garden party for all the snobbish noble families we knew. I would prefer a movie night with Fabian but I attended, because I was obedient and well-educated and I didn’t want to provoke him.
As I expected, all the kids I met there were lofty spoiled brats and I found it really hard to talk to them. But I was the birthday girl, so I had to meet all our guests and entertain them properly.
One of the boys, Nicolas, challenged me to play chess with him. I gladly accepted – talking to one dummy was easier than talking to a bunch of them.”
“Well, my hopes were crashed very soon. He was terrible at chess. And he was even more terrible in conversating – he just bragged about his father’s wealth and bored me with stories about his cars and yachts.
“I was glad the game was over and my time with that unpleasant kid, too.
But he wasn’t done with me.”
And I left. Unfortunately, my father saw me talking to him and he thought it was a good thing!
“And I left. My father yelled at me to watch my language and called me spoiled, ungrateful wench, but he couldn’t stop me. I wouldn’t stay there with him and his awful friends even if he’d threatened me to imprison me for life.
I asked Eloise if she could bring me something to eat and she brought me my birthday cake. She said my father never ordered them to bring it since I left his stupid party.
So I celebrated my birthday alone in my room.”
“Next day, Fabian came to check on me.
“That dinner was awful, of course. My father kept insisting on my friendship with Nicolas. He encouraged me to write to him and to ask him to visit us and to be my nicest self around him while I silently wished to die.”
“My brothers sided with him and they kept telling me how I’ll never find a better match than Nicolas for me because he is noble and rich.”
“Normally, I would lost my nerve but I was too excited about my plans to pay attention to them. I just kept wondering how it happened that my mama, my beautiful, smart, kind mama gave birth to those two plumheads.”
“After dinner, I tried my best to dress myself like a normal teenager. I googled some tutorials and ruined two blouses to create a cool top, but it was worth it – I’ve never looked so good.”
“And other people thought so, too. Fabian told me I looked very unprincessy – in a good way. And I noticed grown up men were checking me out while I was dancing.”
“I don’t blame them, though. I was acting provocatively on purpose – I wanted their attention, you know. I’ve never felt more confident.”
“One of them even asked me to go somewhere more private with him. I freaked out at first, but he meant the bar.”
“When he asked about my age, I lied. I’m sure he knew I was lying, but he didn’t care and he told me to order whatever drink I liked.
I ordered the one with the highest percentage of alcohol.”
“As expected, I was getting very drunk very quickly. That handsome stranger was getting drunk, too, and he was flirting with me more obviously after every sip.
Fabian noticed it and he didn’t quite approve.”
“He managed to stole me away from that stranger and persuaded me to follow him on the balcony, where I would be safe from admiring glances of strange men.”
“I must admit, I was touched by his concern. And I thought it was cute that he was too shy to give me a compliment. Not that I needed it. I knew I looked stunning.”
“And so we did what drunk teenagers do – we made out. It was quite fun. Until…”